A question I'm asked often is, “How do you handle your personal identity, personally and professionally, given that you have shared some very personal things on your blog.”
At the end of the post I share, 3 specific tips I think helped me be successful at blending both my personal and professional lives. But first, let me share that in the very beginning I did separate the two because:
1. I was afraid that I would be judged for any personal stuff I shared which would then make it challenging for me to get work, clients, or advertisers/sponsors, and...
2. I had some set beliefs about how I wanted to be perceived, and letting go of those beliefs actually opened not only my life more, but paved the way for some amazing opportunities I could never have imagined.
I started with 4 blogs in 2005
On my blog Back in Skinny Jeans, some of the highly personal experiences I have shared include suffering from an eating disorder, being raped by a boyfriend, becoming a millionaire in the tech boom and losing it all, being depressed and going on the “happy” pills, and that making a living as a professional blogger in the lifestyle categories is much harder than it looks.
I joke that in a world where people Google you first and ask questions later, on the surface I appear to look like #5 on those “Don’t date these women” lists…”Emotionally unstable and blogs about it.”
When I started blogging in 2005, I had four blogs; three were designed specifically for revenue generation and to advance my professional career. The tone and style of writing was indeed polished, straight to the point, and had nothing about my personal life in it. The fourth blog was Back in Skinny Jeans which I created merely because I wanted to wear my skinny jeans again, and wanted to just rant and gush about my daily musings regarding that subject. The content although more personal in nature still at that point did not include anything that could be perceived as shameful, embarrassing, or scandalous.
After four months, not only was Back in Skinny Jeans getting more traffic than the other three put together, it was making more money through just Google Adsense and the Amazon affiliate program. The business person in me concluded that if this one blog was making more money than the other three, put together, then just those down and focus on the one, 80/20 rule. Apparently, thousands and thousands of people cared about wanting to wear their skinny jeans again like me. More importantly, BISJ was way more fun and fulfilling to work on.
Having clear blog intentions
My intention with blogging, back then and still to this day, 4 years later, is to help people feel less alone, stigmatized, or hopeless. I’m not a doctor, therapist, or anything trained and certified, but I have been a patient, and I do understand what it feels like to go to hell and back. I made a choice to use my past as a source to help others versus letting my past hold me back and depress me.
I feel my higher life purpose is to help people live more authentic lives which inspired my tagline, “Live authentically.” Blogging has helped me find that purpose through sharing my story and building community with others in the blogosphere. Because I had such strong and focused intentions, I believe I was able to combine both highly personal in nature topics and my professional life.
In fact, the only reason I am here blogging today is because I wanted to wear my skinny jeans again. On the surface, that sounds so ridiculous, but because I was open, it led me to places, people, and opportunities that I could never have imagined…and I have a very vivid imagination.
Microsoft comes calling
One amazing business opportunity that sharing my personal life led to was getting a job at Microsoft as an Enthusiast Evangelist. Microsoft found me online and when I asked them why they would want to hire someone like me who’s revealed such personal things, my boss said to me, “Yes, although your stories are very tough and personal in nature, you have a way of writing that leaves people feeling inspired and hopeful. We think that talent is valuable, and is win/win for everyone.”
Honestly, I was floored to hear that because:
1. My impression was that Microsoft was a big stuffy conservative company and how cool is it that dispelled my belief. They don’t care about my past, they only care about what I have done in the now, and...
2. Who knew writing about wanting to wear my skinny jeans again and my problematic past would get me hired at one the most prestigious companies in the world.
A colleague shared with me, “I think you sharing all that stuff shows you’re a fighter and won’t give up, no matter how beaten you get.” I felt like Rocky Balboa in that moment, and how many times have you seen Rocky used as an example in the business world? …Lots.
Here are the top 3 things I think helped me be successful at blending both my personal and professional lives:
- People care more about what you’re doing now then what you did back then. The business world is about results, and if you can produce the results that are needed, that is what matters at the end of the day.
- Context and dose. Every post I wrote about my personal life had very specific context to it like when I first revealed I had sufferend from an eating disorder, I did it in conjunction with the launch of the documentary film about eating disorders called, Thin. The movie was getting enormous buzz, and I felt that anchoring my story to that one was an inspiring way to do my big reveal.
Editorial wise, if you look at the overall break up of BISJ, only about 25% is my personal life. I started upping that quantity in the last year of the blog because through Google Analytics I saw that the posts about my personal life got the highest amount of traffic, links, and comments. People like to read about what others are going through. The posts that have more “intended for mature audiences” content happened less than 4 times a year. I was very conscious about not emotionally overwhelming my audience. Being emo is good in doses versus dousings.
- Have clear and focused intentions. People can smell intent a mile away. What’s most important is that you are very clear with yourself as to why you’re sharing this personal info of yours. My posts have always come out welcomed because the intent is clearly to help others. I have done posts which I thought were being helpful but the reaction I got was not what I had intended.
When I digged deeper and re-looked at how the post came out, it became more clear that I did the post to get things like attention, sympathy, or a break. Those are not bad things to desire, but again, you need to ask yourself, in the bigger picture is this going to help you achieve the results you’re after like respect, influence, and connection.
So this has been my experience blending the personal and professional lives. I hope it was helpful. What was been your experience, and what worked or didn't work for you?
