This year, part of me is really tempted to wallow in the pity pool this Valentine's Day swaddled in a Snuggie reading trashy romance novels and noshing on chocolate covered woe-is-me because I'm still single and my Ex is now married.
I know. I know. I should be grown up and just get over it like any other mature adult but I'm just going to be honest and admit that a part of me still feels a little bit of the bitter sting around the heart more because I thought I would have at least had a serious relationship by now, but I do not. If I think about it too much, it makes me want to bundle myself up in a sleeved blanket of fleece and cry me a river with Justin Timberlake. Say hello to my woeful drama queen side.
We are not going to wallow in pity or stuff bon bons in our pie hole as tempting as that may be because all that's going to get us is frown lines and make us look like the morose spinster wrapped in some ridiculous As Seen on TV getup which really omg! is even too pathetic for a Lifetime movie.
SO! To help both you and me be in a more positive mood about Valentine's Day coming up this weekend, here are 5 other things you can do to not be miserable and maybe even have a wonderful day of love.
- Be completely selfish: Think about all those couples who have to share and make compromises so both of them are happy on that day. Remember how stressful that was when you were once in coupledom. Now solo, you get to do whatever the hell you want without anyone's permission, having to consider anyone's feelings, or to compromise on what you really want to do. Make Valentine's Day all about you and go do something you've always wanted to do.
- Give your inner Ms./Mr. Perfect the day off: Typically the voice in your head that is making you feel miserable about being single on Valentine's Day is that inner perfectionist who has a set image of perfect love or an image you're supposed to be hooked up with another because that is what everyone else is doing and you're supposed to be a part of a twosome because well....because we're all brainwashed to believe that we are incomplete until we find that one that completes us like in Jerry Maguire, "You complete me." The only one that completes you is you darling.
- Get glammed up and go party with your other single friends: No doubt that you are not the only one who is single on Valentine's Day so instead of each of you caving it up in your homes, get gussied up, put on the gloss & floss (G-string), and take your hot selves out to celebrate friendship and friends whom really our some of the great loves of our lives. Boyfriends/Girlfriends, Husbands/Wives, may have come and gone but your friends were still there with you. Life is short and do you really want to look back on this day and see yourself either sour-faced on the couch or giggling sipping on cocktails with your friends.
- Make love to yourself: Here's the beauty of solo lovemaking. You know you are going to get lucky. You are guaranteed an orgasm, and you will get exactly what you want in bed because are you going to say no to you? No way! This is a chance to make sex all about you because heaven knows many of us know what bad sex is like. No one is more qualified to please you sexually than yourself.
- Write down 5 things you do have: When we are in miserable mode it is usually because we are mentally focused on what we don't have, what we lack, like I DON'T HAVE a relationship. I DON'T HAVE a one and only, I DON'T HAVE a date. The DON'T HAVEs start to look really big when that's all you center your attention on. So, get a paper and pen, and jot down at least 5 things you DO HAVE like for me I'd put I DO HAVE freedom. I DO HAVE parents who love me unconditionally. I DO HAVE love all around me.
The commercialization of Valentine's Day makes us believe that you only have love if it looks like being part of a couple. The image of coupledom is what we buy into as having love but that is not true. If you just look at love as love, energy, a feeling, and not package it or brand it like it's some kind of product, you will start to see that you actually are surrounded by all kinds of love, it just looks different than what you have been focused on.
This Valentine's Day weekend, one of my single girlfriends from California is coming out to visit me, and the two of us are going to have fun this weekend, doing something, I have no idea yet. But it will be fun because the intent and the friendship is there :)
Feel the love and enjoy your day of joie de vivre!