I am a classic over-thinker…or as the optimist in me likes to call it, “highly detail oriented.” My mind can process and analysis huge amounts of data in seconds. I will think of things that most people or no one would think of…or maybe even should think about.
Being highly detail oriented can be really good like at work when you’re under the gun and with a project and need to literally pull a rabbit out of your hat. But then, the over-thinking can be not so beneficial when it starts driving you (and others) crazy like for example, during my diet mentality days, ordering lunch from a menu would go something like this:
Me: Okay, what can I have that doesn't have gobs of calories, carbs, or fat, and make me feel like I’ve ruined all that exercise I did today. Her: No...I don’t think so...Only if you workout an extra hourr. Me: Well this looks delicious and I can get the steamed version. Her: Oh hell No
Me: I should eat salad. What do they have in salad? Oh, nothing looks good. I'm so damn tired of eating spinach and ice burg. Screw it,today you get to splurge, well splurge a little but not too much because you have that family thing next weekend and you want your tummy to look flat in that sun dress we just bought on sale.
Her: No way not that....Are you serious about the flat tummy thing?
Me: I wish we had the metabolism of a Brazilian model. Her: Uh-uh! Me: Possible, if I do extra cardio AND do weights...Man, I wish I had my Pilates teacher’s abs. I bet she doesn't eat this stuff. Her: No she doesn’t.
Me: OMG! That dish totally reminds me of Spring 2001...Why can’t they make this with rice or coconut milk? Don’t they know not everyone can have cow or soy milk?
Her: You’re taking too long. Why can’t you order fast like Stacy?
Me: Damn milk! That reminds me I ate too many tacos at the office luncheon, and didn't run it off today. Couldn’t stop fantasizing about Dr. McDreamy this morning.
Her: Hmmmm, he is indeed a hottie. Guys like that want thin girls.
Me: Okay, why do you always make me feel like crap?
Me: No stop it! You’re not the boss of me, I won’t be guilted. Okay, pick something light and healthy, yet tasty...Okay, how about this....
Her: ...No, this is better Me: Alright, you’re right, back to that...We’ve got it now!
[To waiter:] "Yes, I'll have the Won Ton Soup. That's it. Thank you."
Mind you, all that information got processed in mere seconds like in the time you could sneeze and blow your nose kinda fast. And yeah, ordering a bowl of soup should not or ever be this complicated. And yes, if this is how my brain used to operate just ordering a simple lunch, you can just imagine what would happen if I had to make major life decisions like move states, get married, buy a house, or take a loan out to buy a car.
What over-thinking leads to
I found that over-thinking my eating and body stuff just created more anxiety and stress for me…and mind you way unnecessary amounts of stress and anxiety. I would analysis what I ate and then analysis the consequences and ramifications of what I ate. That kind of behavior on the extreme end not surprisingly can lead to disordered eating which I have grappled with in my life.
Besides eating, over-thinking also led to analysis paralysis where I would think about something so much, that I would think myself into procrastination or into fearful waters where really there were no monsters except the ones that I created in my thoughts.
Magic can happen when you empty the brain of thoughts
I know that many of these monsters were imaginary because there were times when I just felt the fear and did it anyway, as the book goes, and guess what? Yeah, none of those scary things I thought of ever happened. In fact, many wonderful things would happen that I could never have imagined like my social media career.
Four years ago, I started blogging about wanting to wear my skinny jeans again not thinking anything deeper than that, and that blog catapulted my life on the web far faster and deeper than the three other blogs I had created at the same time which all had business plans and strategic initiatives in mind.
I’m learning that the more you have to plan and think about something, the likey it is that you need to just jump in and start doing and stop with the over-thinking, and let yourself be open and surprised because this is how magic can happen in your life.
I did that when I moved to Phoenix. I didn’t really think about it too hard, and in fact I really didn’t have much of a plan. I just knew I wanted to move out of California, and I just decided that I would figure things out along the journey. So far, in the six months since I made the decision to move, moving to Phoenix has been not only one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life, it’s been a really cool adventure!
The mantra that helps me manage the over-thinking
One of my favorite trains of thought, and something I have started incorporating more into my life which has helped me go much lighter on the over-thinking:
You can always course correct later. Just pull the ship out of the harbor and get sailing.
