Every Sunday morning I go for a walk around my neighborhood. On this Sunday, it was a gorgeous Phoenix Spring day at 72 degrees and I see this cactus with these beautiful yellow flowers.
I've never seen cactus with blooming flowers before, and I smile because I realize that I am in a real desert area as opposed to faux desert that land developers will create for selling affect much like putting palm trees in to create a "tropical" feel.
When a friend acts out of character
Symbolically, I also appreciate the relationship metaphor of these flowers amongst the prinkly cactus as it was a reminder to me to remain optimistic during a challenging time I'm having right now. The other day I found myself in a situation with a friend who did something very spiteful to me. But what caught me off guard is that this particular action is very out of character for this person, and so I didn't really understand it...at first.
Don't get me wrong, the incident did hurt a great deal because hey I'm human, but also it didn't because of the left field aspect. It's like having a Labrador Retriever who is normally a really friendly and loving dog who would never even harm a flea, but then one day turns into Cujo and bites the hell out of you. You know that there is something going on with the dog because he's not behaving his normal nature.
On the surface, I see Cujo attacking me, but down below, inside, I know my Labrador is there. On the outside, it looks like a bad-tempered situation, but deep down, I know there is a lot of pain going on. The dark part of me wants to retaliate and be hateful in return, but the lighter part of me accepts what is and doesn't take the bait.
All we can change is ourselves and our attitude
Seeing the flowers in the cactus reminds me that even in the prickliest of situations there can be grace. Barbed and beauty can co-exist because you love a whole not just the pretty pieces. So in the now, I choose to focus on the flowers, the handsomeness of my friend instead of the sharp spines of their uncharacteristic behavior.
Three years ago, I would have focused on the hurtful spikes and the ordinary of the cactus, and probably curse the plant for not being what I wanted it to be.
As I realize that I am doing the opposite, and focusing on the whole, I smile again because the other beauty I discover in this thorny situation is that I have grown and no longer go to that "place," that place where I feel trapped in hurt and pain.
I'm not saying that what my friend did is okay or acceptable because it is not, and there are consequences. But, I'm not going to hang on to the wrong of the circumstance on either end. I will be compassionate and keep an open heart more because it is good for me. These are the moments where we choose to live in the light of love or in the shadow of fear.
The flowers in the cactus remind me to choose love because it's plentiful and everywhere. We just have to be willing to see it.
