Picture: From the brunch menu at Mayfield Bakery & Cafe in Palo Alto, CA. Warm rotisserie chicken with butter lettuce salad, bacon, and avocado.
In my own eating history, I have discovered that there are two main reasons I will eat, one is to nourish my body and the other is to fill what I feel I’m emotionally lacking. Here’s the fundamental difference between the two.
When I eat to nourish, I eat…
- mainly foods that are whole, natural, clean, and nutrient packed because I know these foods have optimal benefits for my body.
- until my body is satisfied. My stomach feels good. I have a balanced sense of portion control. I can eat a small cookie or a piece of chocolate and feel content.
- 4-5 mini meals a day. I find that my body feels better when I eat more yet smaller meals throughout the day. In this manner, I never feel deprived or starved.
- because my body tells me it’s hungry and it’s time to fuel up.
- joyfully. There is pleasure and vibrancy associated with nourishing not only my body but also my sense of well being.
When I eat to fill, I eat…
- mainly foods that are junk foods particularly sweets like cookies, chocolate, and cakes because I am emotionally trying to fill the sweetness I feel is lacking in my life like having a loving relationship with a guy.
- Until my body feels stuffed. My stomach feels like it’s jam packed. I have no sense of portion control, I can’t eat just one cookie, and I feel insatiable and eat the whole bag. I’ll stop eating only because there is no more food left in the bag, on the plate, or in the fridge.
- away my feelings more to avoid facing them which leads me to binge particularly at night time because this is when I feel most lonely, neglected, or depressed.
- because my emotions tell me that it’s time to disconnect from who we are because we have trained ourselves to use junk foods as a way to fill the void versus finding healthier ways to deal with our disconnect.
- unconsciously. There is a mechanical energy void of vibrancy to my eating. Eating is impulsive versus purposeful.
At the core, the difference is intent. When I eat to nourish, my intent is loving towards my body. When I eat to fill, my intent is avoidance of my feelings or self destruction.
When I finally came to a better understanding of why I eat and what my intent was, I was able to develop a more positive, healthy relationship with food and my body. I began the journey to become more present in myself.
I also started developing more positive ways outside of food to deal with my emotions particularly the feelings I wanted to avoid experiencing like when I feel I've lost control of where my career is going or when I feel like no man is ever going to love me for who I am. Instead of avoiding those feelings by eating half a pint of ice cream, I will do things like talk to a friend, go for a run, or something I've been doing more of lately is to just sit with the feeling and ask it what it's trying to tell me.
Honestly, learning to just sit with those uncomfortable feelings is something I would normally try to avoid at all cost because well it sucks and is painful, but realistically avoiding those feelings or hoping it will just go away if I ignore it long enough just makes things worse not better.
One way or another I'm going to experience discomfort, so I decided that it is better to get it over with when the pain is smaller and more managable versus letting it fester where it then turns into suffering and something out of control like all night binging. I'm also learning to look at that pain as an ally versus a villian. The pain is trying to tell me what needs to be fixed, healed, or acknowledged. The pain is there to aid me not hurt me or punish me.
My relationship with food is much healthier today than it was in the past, but it is also not perfect, and that is okay. I no longer try to strive for perfect eating because really that ideal is impossible. I reach for what I can do best at the moment and understand that I’m human and will have the bright seasons as well as the dark seasons.
When I slip, instead of beating myself up or judging myself, I step back and look at what was going on and see what I can learn, and continue to move forward. Each day is a new opportunity J
So how about you, what do you find are some of the intentions behind your eating?
