This post is an excerpt from my book "Back in Skinny Jeans," the story of how I dropped 40 pounds and kept it off for five years now. I am an emotional eater, and one of the foods that I would eat often when I was hurt or upset was donuts. There was something about a circle of chocolate glazed dough that would comfort and calm me down.
Having a donut once in awhile is fine, but I found myself eating donuts everyday, and sometimes eating 2-3 donuts in a day. I was medicating instead of meditating.
{ the four stages of donut competence }
In psychology, there is a theory known as the “Four Stages of Competence” which is the process in which one learns. The progression starts where you are unaware and evolves to where things become second nature to you.
The student in me does better with a roadmap, some guidance. I came up with the Four Stages of Donut Competence to help me curb emo eating. Homer Simpson would be proud.
This is how I broke my emotional attachment to donuts and learned how to deal with my feelings in non-food ways.
Here are the four stages:
Unconscious Incompetence
I would eat donuts all the time. I don’t know why. I just do. I have no inclination to understand why or change.
Conscious Incompetence
I’m now aware that I eat donuts whenever I feel hurt or lonely which is often. I am aware that those feelings trigger my need to eat donuts for comfort. However, even though I am aware of this trigger, I still eat the donuts.
Conscious Competence
Whenever I feel hurt or lonely, I consciously make the effort to make different food choices. Instead of donuts, I will eat fresh fruit or a granola bar. Or instead of eating, I will choose to address my feelings of hurt or loneliness. I will deal with my feelings instead of eating donuts to stuff or numb myself from those emotions.
Unconscious Competence
Whenever I feel hurt or lonely, it is now second nature for me to be present with those feelings and work through what is going on with me. I no longer eat donuts to comfort myself or to avoid my feelings. I eat a donut as an occasional 20% food.
The Four Stages of Donut Competence worked for me because I could observe myself without judgment. Apply the four stages by inserting your particular comfort food. I applied the four stages to other foods I would emo eat like ice cream, French fries, and cookies.
The four stages helped me evolve into healthier habits.
What are some ways you've broken your emotional eating habits?
