Noshtopia

What's Your Comfort Food When The Emotions Feel Rough?

I love this cartoon from Cathy Thorne at Everyday People Cartoons. Pretty much sums up in a nutshell for me the need for comfort food when the emotions are challenged.

Instead of cookies, my comfort food tends to be vegan donuts or French fries. What is yours?

Breaking Emotional Eating Habit: The Four Stages of Donut Competence

This post is an excerpt from my book "Back in Skinny Jeans," the story of how I dropped 40 pounds and kept it off for five years now. I am an emotional eater, and one of the foods that I would eat often when I was hurt or upset was donuts. There was something about a circle of chocolate glazed dough that would comfort and calm me down. 

Having a donut once in awhile is fine, but I found myself eating donuts everyday, and sometimes eating 2-3 donuts in a day. I was medicating instead of meditating.

{ the four stages of donut competence }

In psychology, there is a theory known as the “Four Stages of Competence” which is the process in which one learns. The progression starts where you are unaware and evolves to where things become second nature to you.

The student in me does better with a roadmap, some guidance. I came up with the Four Stages of Donut Competence to help me curb emo eating. Homer Simpson would be proud.

This is how I broke my emotional attachment to donuts and learned how to deal with my feelings in non-food ways.

Here are the four stages:

Unconscious Incompetence

I would eat donuts all the time. I don’t know why. I just do. I have no inclination to understand why or change.

Conscious Incompetence

I’m now aware that I eat donuts whenever I feel hurt or lonely which is often. I am aware that those feelings trigger my need to eat donuts for comfort. However, even though I am aware of this trigger, I still eat the donuts.

Conscious Competence

Whenever I feel hurt or lonely, I consciously make the effort to make different food choices. Instead of donuts, I will eat fresh fruit or a granola bar. Or instead of eating, I will choose to address my feelings of hurt or loneliness. I will deal with my feelings instead of eating donuts to stuff or numb myself from those emotions.

Unconscious Competence

Whenever I feel hurt or lonely, it is now second nature for me to be present with those feelings and work through what is going on with me. I no longer eat donuts to comfort myself or to avoid my feelings. I eat a donut as an occasional 20% food.

The Four Stages of Donut Competence worked for me because I could observe myself without judgment. Apply the four stages by inserting your particular comfort food. I applied the four stages to other foods I would emo eat like ice cream, French fries, and cookies.

The four stages helped me evolve into healthier habits.

What are some ways you've broken your emotional eating habits?

Emotional Eater: Nourish The Heart and Soul To-Do List

photo from Daily Vitamins For the Soul

I'm an emotional eater.

I used to fight that fact for years because a part of me felt that letting my emotions effect my eating habits was a weakness. I'd tell myself that I should be able to control my eating with logic and sense especially with weight loss because it's not rocket science. The formula is simple. 

I'm not saying this belief was right and obviously it was not serving me well. But, it was the belief I was engrained with and it contributed to my cantankerous relationship with food. I finally got to the point where I realized that this line of thinking, denying this part of me, got me no where except misery. I got to this point mainly because I decided it was time for me to go to couple's therapy and work on my relationship with food because I wanted to love food instead of food being my source of love.

I had to break up with Ben & Jerry as my lover and change them from "in a relationship with" to "friend" status. During this time, I also found out I was allergic to Ben & Jerry, the dairy in the ice cream, so more reason to part ways on a friendly note. 

I'm an emotional eater

And, that is just fine! It's not a bad thing. Misguided emotional eating, when I chose to deny what's going on inside verus being present with those feelings and asking what I emotionally need is where I get into trouble. Where being an emotional eater has helped me have a positive relationship with food is helping me distinguish the difference between true physical hunger and emotional hunger.

When I get creative with food like styling a plate, coming up with a new twist on an old recipe or taking photos of food, I feed my need to be artistic and creative. I never knew I had a talent for taking iPhone food shots to the point where people have paid me money for some of my photography. Being an emotional eater helped me discover that talent. Who knew that could happen?

I've learned that when I nourish my soul and heart with positive, loving, encouraging energy through friends and family, hobbies, or even simple quotes from Facebook, I won't seek the comfort of donuts, cookies, and ice cream. My cravings for sweets is most often an emotional craving for something sweet in my life like time with friends, being in a relationship or even a need for a hug.

I liked the To-Do list from Daily Vitamins for the Soul because doing those items will definitely help nourish you with love, patience, and compassion. What are some things on your to-do list that you do to feed your heart and soul?